Review of the Event Coffeehouse Quiz on Friday, 21 January 2022, at the Café Ministerium
by Wolfgang Geissler

You may, kind reader, wonder what this passage from Tolkien’s book “The Return of the King” has to do with yesterday’s event, the first-ever Coffeehouse Quiz. Please, stay with me, and all shall be revealed.

But first things first: Those amongst us who are British or have lived for any length of time on the British Isles and are perhaps male, a necessary prerequisite of a pub dweller, will invariably have experienced this very English institution of “The Pub Quiz”. The English Pub of yonder years was, filled with tobacco smoke and bonhomie, happy inebriated revellers clinking pint pots and singing heartily to the tunes of a usually older guy, fag in his mouth, tinkering on a battered stand-up piano, with a pint of bitter balanced on its top, the social centre of any community. Over time, clever landlords, ever searching for new ways to bind their patrons to their establishment, eventually came up with the idea of quiz nights. The Pub Quiz, more or less professionally organised, was born and is to the day a roaring success- for the landlords of any pub anyway. Why not, you may ask, transfer this idea to the Café Ministerium, and call it “The Coffeehouse Quiz”? Indeed, why not.

Long time ABS member Alexander Willer and his associate Marlies Geier took it upon themselves to design and subsequently moderate this first-ever Coffeehouse Quiz at our Café Ministerium, even though they initially welcomed us to the “Café Museum”, which startled our president and amused the group. Apart from that, it was an instant success. It fired our intellectual prowess, uncovering answers to questions like “Peter Crouch is a former English footballer. He’s not only well-known for his skill on the pitch but also for his cheeky (and probably the greatest) one-line answer in an interview. Asked what he’d be if he weren’t a footballer, Peter Crouch replied, what?”

Interspersed with the traditionally high-quality flying dinner and plenty of wine (what else would you expect from the Café Ministerium?), our members battled bravely against each other for quizzical supremacy whilst snow showers struck the windows. Alas, there could be only one winner!

The groups that valiantly accepted the challenge gave themselves distinctive names: Amelie, Lucky Four, Jane Eyre and here we have it –Lighthouse, a name selected by our Robert Simkovics. Lighthouse-Beacon, a beacon of light, (The Beacons of Gondor are alight, calling for aid.) do you follow me?

Still, it was a good choice of name because Lighthouse won the First ever Coffeehouse Quiz!

Ah, I nearly forgot. What was the winning answer to the question: “Asked what he’d be if he weren’t a footballer, Peter Crouch replied what?”

“A Virgin.”

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